it was another rather cold day. ice stayed on the ground. lola made little tracks through it when i let her out this afternoon. i sat in my car in the sunshine and read some and wrote some. the feral mama cat came loping by with a huge gopher in her mouth. she looked so pleased with herself. the sleek black creature.
i have been running around trying to do so many things but i never manage to feel as though i've accomplished anything. it's frustrating but the attempts at completion have at least the advantage of keeping me relatively distracted.
a few weeks ago i had misplaced a favorite scarf. i found it this afternoon in the back seat of my car. it's currently around my neck because the house is so cold. i don't mind. the scarf is cashmere and thus exceptionally soft. besides i have some very fond memories attached to this particular item of clothing. comforting.
when i wake there will be pin oats and cream and brown sugar to eat. i can't convey how awesome a prospect i find it. now if someone thinks to put a spurtle in my stocking.... incidentally i wouldn't mind a wax mustache and some lebkuchen in there either.
adieu.
it is so very cold out. at 1:30pm it was still only 36F. and that's not taking into consideration the icy wind that was a-blowing. however it didn't stop sister and me from going for a walk. as we rounded a corner i was looking at my feet and trying to successfully gauge the camber of the road so as not to trip. i noticed something gold and shiny in the middle of the street. it was a man's ring. i looked around but didn't see anybody nearby. so. i put the ring in my pocket. tomorrow i'll post flyers and see if someone calls to claim it.
my glasses should arrive soon. i think they will have to be fitted with prescription lenses. all of this staring at the interwebs is giving me a squint.
well. time to do something useful.
adieu.
it is said that the daughter of linnaeus would set a match to fraxinella on windless summer nights. the air above the plant would burst into flame momentarily. bang.
along highway 41 there were fields of haulm from cotton crops. the ditches were white with stray bolls. the rushes along the aqueduct were golden. egrets stood along the banks. dead stalks of sunflower lined the fences. the prospect would have been very lovely if the light hadn't been so dingy and the atmosphere so pink with smog.
i said farewell to my friend. i thought composure would be attainable considering how completely i'd broken down upon first hearing the news. i was mistaken. but i'm glad i said a proper good bye.
in happier news...
the amaryllis are poking up there heads. tomorrow i will pot up some paperwhites and white freesia. i don't really care if they bloom in time for christmas. i just want to smell them. so good. incidentally i loved this post. the idea of forcing bulbs in hobnail glass had never occurred to me. i love how it looks.
rarely do i link to the many fashion and design blogs i read. i suppose i should start a design blog so that i could fill it with links. anyway. i spend a lot of time perusing etsy and this gal is consistently awesome. i don't know if she blogs outside of etsy but she should!
been enjoying this site thanks to a friendly tip off. :)
and one last thing. been listening to this song compulsively.
i'm not sure what it is about her voice that has me so bewitched. i just love it. i do have rather a soft spot for lo-fi recordings. maybe that's it. dunno.
wellidy. hold tight to those loved ones.
went for a long drive in the country yesterday with my sister and mother. it was sister's birthday. we drove to the top of a very high ridge and stopped to look back down the dirt road which we'd just ascended. it was a lovely view. the sun was declining. the air smelled dusty and like black sage and currant leaves. so nice.
tomorrow i will go and say goodbye to my departed friend. i'd like to throw a party in his honor because i think it's what he'd prefer. perhaps i shall.
wellidy. time to hem my pants and brush my coat.
g'night.
just received the news that my exboyfriend has passed away after a battle with a rare form of cancer. disbelief.
he was soft-spoken and kind. a consummate record nerd. given to spontaneous displays of goofy affection. impulsive on one side and methodical on the other. reserved but wickedly funny underneath. he took a long while to achieve some happiness in this world. finally found someone to love. but too briefly. life is really fucking unfair.
the first time that i met him was at a party in a ramshackle victorian house by the creek. he rented it with several other guys one of whom was a good friend of mine. records were being spun. he put on the mummies and danced comically across the room to where i was sitting in a corner with a book. he tried to pick up on me. i turned him down. but i secretly thought his antics were dorkily charming. so. we ended up dating. it didn't last but we remained good friends.
rest in peace, mr. w.
chipped my tooth. now i have a snaggletooth. i would like it if it had occurred in a more decorative location. but it's in the bottom row and not very noticeable to anyone but me. that is because it is rough and i can feel it with my tongue. try as i might i can't seem to see my own teeth without the aid of a mirror.
i sent away information about myself. some people who wield a considerable amount of power will now decide my future. i should be nervous or something. but no. i'm simply resigned. i don't have ants in my pants or butterflies in my stomach. i'm just meh. meh.
it was bitter cold last night. i slept very well though. left my window ajar a tiny bit. i can't sleep in a stuffy room. i had frightful dreams right before waking up. thankfully i don't really remember the meat of them.
yesterday i stood in the yard and plucked hips from the antique rose. quartered flowers on that one. when they bloom they smell amazingly good. their hips however are not tasty. full of seed and fuzz and acidulated flesh. they're also mealy. not a texture i support. my pomegranate is loaded with fruit. i cracked one open and dined on the tiny sour-sweet fruitlets. a bunch of finches landed in the uppermost branches of the pomegranate tree and made a fuss. i didn't share with them.
wellidy. i haven't much news. i'm feeling very hermit-y of late. maybe it's the weather. maybe it's my lack of certainty about so many things. probably an accumulation of forces.
adieu.
been looking for a pair of fetching but affordable eyeglasses for several years. tonight i bid on a pair and won. hooray.
behold:
anyway. back to my hermitage.
i'm very rarely made truly angry. instead i portion out my expressions of frustration in little tremors. apparently i have not portioned them out in substantial enough bits because this afternoon i had a fit of rage. arms weak knees weak shaking fury. it was an awful feeling.
in happier news...
i've just returned from visiting father. the oaks around his cabin have turned golden and orange. the sun was low on the horizon when i arrived. it made little halos in the dry grass. there was a doe crossing a clearing. flicked her ears back and forth as she daintily made her way. father and i watched bbc world news and talked about books. we sat by the fire. my hair smells wonderfully smoky right now. some time ago i had mentioned to father that i wanted a better set up for distilling roses and doing enfleurage. this evening he produced glass condensers and another old formulary from the mid-1800s. this one was written at a time when doctors in remote places had to manufacture pharmaceuticals by themselves in situ. the book was so cool! but i still need a few bits and bobs of glassware before i can experiment with my roses. i left father's in a much better mood than when i'd arrived. though after returning home i felt an awful bitterness and feelings of unrest as soon as my key touched the lock.
my throw is coming along nicely. i fear i don't have quite enough yarn to finish. drat. crumb. last night i curled up in my duvet and watched film versions of russian novels whilst crocheting. something comforting about having a period piece playing in the background.
there's work to be done hereabouts. and so.
i've wanted to visit quebec city for some time now. this makes me want to go even more. so pretty.
that's all.
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